June 2, 2022
**Trigger Warning: Gun violence, suicide, bullying
Like so many in our country, I am in shock and disbelief regarding the recent school shooting in Uvalde, Texas.
My heart aches for the families of the victims and for humanity as a whole. A question I have been hearing a lot is, “What is this world coming to?” And in times like these, I find myself asking the same.
I recently took a deep-dive into statistics on the Sandy Hook Promise webpage regarding school shootings, some of which I list below:
- “Guns are the leading cause of death among American children and teens.”
- “The U.S. has had 2,032 school shootings since 1970, and these numbers are increasing. Alarmingly, 948 school shootings have taken place since the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in December 2012.”
- “Since the historic attack at Columbine High School in 1999, nearly 300,000 students have been on campus during a school shooting.”
- “In 4 out of 5 school shootings, at least one other person had knowledge of the attacker’s plan but failed to report it.”
- “In a comprehensive school shooting study, the Secret Service and Department of Education found that 93% of school shooters planned the attack in advance.”
Already this year, 27 school shootings have taken place, and over 200 mass shootings have occurred in the U.S. How has something so horrid become so prevalent in our society? How are we allowing this to continue? What can we do about it?
Steve Kerr, an NBA coach in the 2022 playoffs, recently used a press conference as a call to action regarding gun violence. Kerr’s plea, “We can’t get numb to this,” has stuck with me. You can watch his powerful message here.
As a country, we have gotten numb to this. Somehow we have accepted school shootings as normal–we are initially shocked and plead for change, but we eventually go on with our lives within days or weeks until the next mass shooting happens. And here we are again having the same conversations. So much can be done to prevent this from continuing to happen month after month and year after year, and I believe the root of it all stems from mental suffering and emotional illness.
The largest percentage of school shooters have had a history of suicidal ideation or have attempted suicide in the past. In addition, the greatest majority were victims of bullying. I want to be clear that I do not believe any of this is an excuse to commit these horrid and unspeakable crimes; rather, I am highlighting the ways in which we, as a society, can redirect our focus and advocate for the allocation of resources where they are needed most: in mental health.
America is one of the wealthiest countries in recent human history. Where is our money going? It appears the majority of our money is going to the war machine and consumerism, instead of mental health and civic services in support of the psychological well-being of our society. As a country, our values have become distorted.
The current events in our country are symptoms of our distorted value system, and an expression of people’s suffering, rage, desperation, and internal conflict that isn’t being addressed. Political agendas and the siphoning of money through greed and self–serving interests are also contributing to our country’s suffering and worsening these symptoms. America has become a sick society riddled with mental illness that continues to increase and spread as our values worsen.
We have collective psychological trauma and limited access to resources that should be prevalent in many underserved communities. We should have readily available access to mental health services, and there should be food on everybody’s plate and a fire in everybody’s hearth. People should have access to basic human needs. Instead, our priorities that should be deemed as non-negotiable have become a question of preference for those passing the laws. We do not have to stand for this. We the people have a voice and it’s time we used it and allowed ourselves to feel, rather than eventually become numb.
I have been feeling a lot of sadness and anger in my heart during the past week. Our country is mourning, and I have been reminded that grieving is a process. A model for grief that resonates the most for me is the Kubler-Ross Model of the Five Stages of Grief, also known as DABDA:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
This is by no means a linear process, for these stages can all occur simultaneously.
I feel I am currently in the denial and anger phases. I’m sad for us as a country. I’m sad for us as a people. I have more sadness than anger at the moment, but I can feel the anger simmering underneath. For now, I just want to feel the sadness and grieve our loss of our humanity and communal heart, for what happens in one community happens to us all.
As long as I am feeling something and not distracting myself or suppressing these emotions, I know I am at least not numb to it.
I would rather feel everything at once than become numb to atrocity. What is going to be the threshold of our collective suffering in order to shift the values of our cultural ethos? Two things motivate change: desperation and inspiration. Right now, we are in a time of desperation, and it is long past time to make a change.
So, when the question arises, “What is this world coming to?”, let’s instead ask, “Where do we go from here?”
Where do we go from here, and where do you go from here? In order to answer this question, you must first feel into and metabolize the underlying emotions. It’s only when we’re current and centered that we can clearly vision and mobilize.
So the invitation here is to SLOW DOWN, get present and feel into what is just behind the veil of your consciousness. What is in your heart? Grief is a vital announcement of the pain of losing something loved. Anger is a vital announcement of the transgression of a personal or collective boundary. Fatigue is the vital announcement of carrying the physical, emotional or psychic weight for so long. THEY ARE ALL VALID.
First we must slow down, then we must feel, then we must move the energy in order to heal it. It takes courage to feel what is uncomfortable. And it takes perseverance to see it through to resolution. When we do this for ourselves, we do this for each other.
As Krishnamurti said, “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
Please don’t get numb.
To your health,
Dr. Dan
Get healthy. Stay present. Help out.