March 31, 2022
I just spent a phenomenal week facilitating a men’s retreat with some amazing souls, and while integrating the retreat afterwards, I had many realizations including the desire to increase my holding capacity.
Do you know the term ‘Kintsugi’? If not, the most relatable way to reference this is to begin by asking you if you’ve seen the latest Star Wars movies. (I may be a bit of a Star Wars fan). Kylo Ren destroyed his mask in a moment of weakness that in fact, ultimately broke him free of his past and ushered him towards his destiny, while the fractured mask represented his internal conflict. The mask was later reforged with the help of an alchemist, and the magma-colored solder lines accentuated the fractures in a representation of the character’s resurrection. Both the destruction and repair of the mask were symbolic of Kylo Ren’s evolution.
Similarly, Kintsugi is a Japanese art form of repairing broken pieces of pottery using different amalgams, often precious metals such as molten gold. This form of art is a celebration of imperfections by using beauty to accent the imperfections, and actually highlighting the imperfections as beauty.
There’s often a bi-directional relationship between beauty and what we perceive as imperfect. This has been on my mind so much this last week, and I believe it’s probably related to the noticeable increase of my holding capacity and a feeling that some things are in the midst of breaking.
However, I trust that if something does break, it’s in service to bringing something even greater and potentially even more substantial to the world. Even with woodworking, if there’s a break that’s glued together with a bonding agent, that joint becomes stronger than the others surrounding it.
On a personal note, I recognize that my expectations often get in the way of really appreciating the beauty at hand. And that includes the beauty of the broken expectation, the broken relationship, the broken vow, the broken agreement, the broken fill-in-the-blank, etc.
When we can bring our attention, compassion, deep listening, values, and loving presence to the broken pieces, as well as aspects of our higher nature and deeper self, then we can see how this process may be in service to creating something even more whole, more mature and more beautiful than what we had previously expected or could imagine.
In the words of Barbara Marx Hubbard, crisis precedes transformation every time.
Oftentimes, the crisis is in service to something new being birthed. That newness is often born out of the crisis itself. Out of the rubble of that which is broken comes new life, new ideas, new pathways, etc. Two years ago, my psyche would not have been able to hold what I’m doing now–I needed to grow. And that growth has often times been uncomfortable and a little messy and unpredictable.
I’ve learned that if I can take a small step back, I can see that the messy and unpredictable parts have been quite important to prepare me, build me, and strengthen me to be able to hold what I’m doing now. I expect that this trend is going to continue.
It’s an all-hands-on-deck moment on planet Earth, and we will continue to be stretched to our limits so that we can bring everything that’s been unresolved into the light of awareness in order to achieve full reconciliation.
We need to find reconciliation not only within ourselves, but also within humanity. This process, like Kintsugi, is an artful practice of reconciliation and reconfiguration, and it’s the most important work we can be doing right now.
I trust that this process is in service in some essential way for all of us. I challenge you now to shine a light on your broken pieces to see how you’ll repair them to make them whole again and even stronger than before, for yourself and for humanity.
To your health,
Dr. Dan
Get healthy. Stay present. Help out.